somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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