the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
