I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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