I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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