Fuck appropriateness.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize