he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize