can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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