I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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