Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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