mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
