i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
