i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
