I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
