So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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