not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
