Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
