i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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