Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
