im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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