found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
