It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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