whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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