the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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