I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
