The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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