the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
