i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we're making bets on your personal life
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
