Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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