i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize