I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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