i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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