Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
