I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
