Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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