Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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