did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
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the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
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you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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