I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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