you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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