oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
