pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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