That's intense
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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