It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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