she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize