hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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