Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
