I feel like I'm in dance class right now
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
