hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
they're like a gay fantastic four
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
