Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
