he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
home. puking in laundry basket.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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