my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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