where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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