my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
