Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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