yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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