After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
