Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
