get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
