i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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