If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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