dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
